He was hiding behind the line of freshly boiled diapers when his mother came to meet her grandson. She was pouting at the sleeping body until she heard her son washing up in the yard, in full view of the neighbors. She immediately dropped her purse and grabbed the basins. “My son, you can’t do that,” she scolded him affectionately, and quietly reminded him that she had given birth three times and her husband had never touched a diaper.

Félix doesn’t quite understand how to assume fatherhood. When he asked for permission at work to take care of his wife and face the challenges of a cesarean together, the boss looked at him with displeasure and the head of Human Resources asked him if his mother-in-law couldn’t take care of it, at least during the quarantine. “Anyway, what men do is get in the way.”

His friends in their forties do not forgive him for cooking now, “You wear skirts at any time”; and they laugh when he almost runs out because the “light” goes out and he has to make lunch early, or when he comes home stressed because “he doesn’t have enough money for pampers”, “the price of malanga has gone up to 300.00”, and he complains about how expensive it is to have a child and how the economic crisis cuts off the desire for a large family.

Félix fulfills what he considers his role as husband and father, without many notions because he grew up in a house where dad brought the few pesos - the rest he spent with women - and mom shined with the iron in her hand, between darning, puddings and with the same skirt set as always because housewives do not need many clothes. He does what he thinks is right, but his environment does not let him, it embarrasses him for the man he is. Masculinities in Cuba come in shades of grey, and although some strive to bring out the best in them, there is a lot of machismo (male chauvinism) as a patch, to defend the flags of the alpha male, the dominant male. We are talking about a set of characteristics, behaviors, and roles that society attributes to men, which can be physical, psychological, or moral, and they vary according to culture and social context.

Masculinities are not static or universal; they are social constructions that can change and adapt over time. Reflection and questioning of these models are essential to moving towards a more equitable and fair society, but it begins from the earliest years, in the warmth of the home, and in that women play the role of promoting changes or perpetuating the same machismo that at some point affects us all closely.

The difference lies in how we raise our children. When he grows up, he will be idiotic in front of the television screen while his wife washes and cleans, he will remain oblivious to the whirlwind of the home, he will feel superior in the family framework and, therefore, he will dictate the laws, or he will take charge of his parental responsibilities without any desire to help, but to share the daily hardships within four walls, especially in these times where a good companion can be the anchor of sanity.

When we decide to fill men with gender stereotypes, we are not protecting them, on the contrary, we put on their shoulders a weight that they do not always want to carry.

In Cuba, the stereotypes that affect masculinities are deeply rooted in culture and social norms. For example, there is an expectation that men should be the main economic providers for their families. This, of course, keeps them from participating in roles of care and affection within the home.

Furthermore, historically they are expected to be emotionally strong and not show vulnerability, which in turn brings with it the repression of emotions and difficulties in seeking help in times of need.

On the other hand, Cuban society has traditionally promoted heterosexuality as the norm, which can lead to discrimination and stigmatization of men who do not fit this expectation. From jokes on television shows to the idea that "so much dissemination promotes homosexuality." Masculinities still have a hard time moving away from the hegemonic role.

A glance shows that the image of the dominant and controlling male is still valued, both in the public and private spheres, a stereotype that perpetuates sexist behavior and gender violence. And above all, housework and childcare are often seen as female responsibilities. First, by ourselves, women.

In our country, the concept of masculinities is pushing upwards and is undergoing a significant transformation that seeks to question and redefine what it means to be a man in contemporary Cuban society. But we are still a long way off, as a community, from setting the table for what could be a celebration of gender equality, empathy, and collaboration.